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"There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. ... We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. For the next hour (if you're lucky!), sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awful and mysterious way Microsoft automatically updates Windows, which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits of your patience!"

Apologies to the classic Outer Limits TV series -- see the 1963 opening ►

I can tweak Windows 8 to be fairly unobtrusive. I can disable, and hide the Metro/Modern interface. I can run Windows versions of most of the opensource programs I use in Ubuntu Linux. And I do like how fast Windows 8 boots up, and shuts down, But one thing I don't like is the awful way Windows 8 handles automatic operating system updates -- the same as Windows 7, which was the same way updates were handled in Windows Vista: When you least expect it, instead of your laptop shutting off, it informs you that it is "Configuring Windows updates," and whatever you do, "Do not turn off your computer." Both Ubuntu Linux, and Apple's Mac OS X can perform system updates in the background while you -- the User -- are using your computer. Windows does not seem to be able to install system updates while the User is logged in. You can't actually turn this off, but you can turn it down a little.

Turning off automatic updating in Windows 8

The first step is to open the Windows 8 Control Panel -- there are 10 less way to do this than there are ways to skin a cat, but the express route is to press the "Windows key" and the "X" key on the keyboard. This combination brings up the Power User Menu in the bottom left corner (where the "Start" menu used to be).



Then we select "Control Panel" which is fifth from the bottom.

Then, depending on your View style...

• In Category view, click or tap on System and Security.


• In either large or small Icon view, click or tap on Windows Update.

With Windows Update now open, click or tap the Change settings link in the left sidebar. This brings up the Change Settings window titled "Choose your Windows Update Settings." There are four options. The factory default is the first one, to install automatically. I've changed my setting to the third option, to check but let me choose.

1. Install updates automatically (recommended)


2. Download updates but let me choose whether to install them


3. Check for updates but let me choose whether to download and install them


4. Never Check for updates (not recommended)

Click OK, and you're done. Notice that if you choose option four: Never check, you can always go to the Windows Update Control Panel applet and see the availability of updates, and choose to install them. They will still install/configure during shutdown, and startup. One of the ways to fix that is called Ubuntu.

Simple instructions for dual booting Ubuntu with Windows 8 ►