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Nearly a week ago my friend Karen Kohagen passed away suddenly and without warning.

Karen's sister Gail and Gail's son Mark came to Fairview Sunday evening to tell me personally. I had spent two days only knowing that Karen had gone to the hospital.

They explained to me that on Wednesday afternoon Karen was at her apartment in Fairview, when she realized she was suffering a heart attack and called an ambulance. She was conscious and talking as she was transferred into the ambulance in a wheelchair.

She died a few hours later at Vancouver General Hospital from a massive heart attack. I believe she was 68-years old.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to do a bit of computer tutoring, which required me to focus on the needs of another person.

Like I say, I was lucky. For most of the day it took my mind off my sorrow.

I have things to say about Karen, how she was special, about what it meant to me to know her. How much I miss her. But the more I try to focus on those thoughts the more they just jumble up meaninglessly. I can't think about them and I can't not. I'm a bit of a mess.

I do have an awful recurring thought about the heart attack; I hope it was so massive that there was no time for panic or suffering. What a terrible thought to take refuge in. And I think about how I knew Karen for barely a year and how hard this must be on her sister Gail.

According to stipulations Karen made in her will she is to be cremated as soon as possible and her ashes are to be scattered in a special part of the city she loved: Toronto.

She is survived by two brothers and a sister and many friends and loved ones. I was just one of many. I know all of us will miss her.

I guess this is goodbye but it hasn't sunk in yet.